Ball squats are my nemesis

Seriously, ball squats really have become my nemesis! I dislike them more than olives and mushrooms. If you know me, then you know that is a big statement!

During a training program there is always one exercise that you dread during that hour. Everyone has one. Ball squats are it for me! With every exercise my trainer takes me through I keep a close eye on him and anxiously watch which part of the gym he is walking towards for the next one. I pray and hope the dreaded ball squats are not next.

The minute I see him grab that big, red ball I tense up and think, “oh shit, prepare for agony!” I almost have the urge to run! No, I really do. I sometimes wonder what would happen if I broke into a full sprint down the stairs. Would he chase me? Yell my name? Promise me I never have to do ball squats again?! Of course the rational part of me takes over (barely) and I slowly walk over to the wall which I now think of as the “death wall” where we always do the ball squats.

Then it gets worse. He walks away and I think, “oh nice, maybe he’s changed his mind.” No such luck. He comes back with weights, yes weights for me to hold while I am doing the ball squats. The weights magically get heavier every week too! As if they aren’t hard enough already! Sure, let’s push me to the breaking point Mr. Trainer, I’m psyched! Woo-hoo let’s do it! Let’s FEEL the burn! Mr. Trainer is such a nice guy though so I fight back the urge to scream at the top of my lungs. He’d probably be the one sprinting out of the building away from the loopy expat woman in that case!

Sometimes I think the deep breathing I have learned in pilates will help with that intense burning sensation you feel in your thighs, inner thighs, glutes, everywhere in the upper leg region that has feeling. My breathing does help get me through it but it doesn’t prevent the leg shakes. You know the leg shakes…when you look like you are some type of crazed, wild animal as you’re having a leg spasm because your body just isn’t sure it can take one more. It’s a sexy look! I should invite Ozdane to come watch sometime! This usually hits me in the last set. Mr. Trainer smiles and says, “only 10 more!” Sure, easy for you to say, you don’t feel like someone lit your thighs and butt on fire!

See, if these were normal squats that most of us are accustomed to I probably wouldn’t dread them as much. These are “special.” They are specifically targeted to inner thighs and the right spots particularly for women. The ball stays behind your back to keep your back perfectly straight. No way to slack with these bad boys! Mr. Trainer doesn’t allow me to come all the way up and I have to go down further with each one. Ouccchhh!! Give me the old-fashioned squats any day!

I have personal training again Thursday morning. I have already said a prayer to the workout Gods begging them for no ball squats in my session.

So if you hear a report out of Singapore of a crazy, expat woman running out of a gym, into the middle of the road screaming, “no more ball squats” while flailing her arms in the air like an insane person…well, then you’ll know it’s me!